


im begging you, pretty boy

by never_bloom_again



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Drugs, M/M, a happyish ending?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28261350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/never_bloom_again/pseuds/never_bloom_again
Summary: derek can't stay, not like this.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	im begging you, pretty boy

**Author's Note:**

> for the prompt, im begging you, please stop
> 
> tw: drug addiction

Derek wasn’t sure if he could keep doing it. He loved Spencer, more than he had ever loved anyone, and he never wanted to leave him. It wasn’t as easy as that though, because no matter how much he wanted to stay and do anything for Spencer, save him, his instincts kicked in. The independent young boy who still lived deep inside him, who screamed that he had to save himself protested every moment he stayed in the relationship.

It was tearing him apart, watching Spencer fall apart, but being powerless. No matter what he tried, Derek had found something stronger than himself, something that he couldn’t fight, even though it was a more important battle than he had ever been involved with.

Spencer had to save himself, to get clean, but he wouldn’t. Derek couldn’t keep watching as he refused to accept the help that was offered, as he detached himself from his friends, as the Spencer he knew disappeared. He wished he was like Spencer, who would be selfless enough to stay, but Derek was too well acquainted with self preservation.

_ One last try, _ he thought,  _ one more time to try to help save him. _

“Spence, you can’t keep doing this. It’s going to kill you,” Derek told him one day. They were together in their apartment, but it didn’t feel like home the way it had in the past. It didn’t feel safe. Everything was just wrong.

“Doing what?”

Spencer’s first response whenever anyone brought his addiction up was to feign ignorance - Derek couldn’t understand why he still tried. It never worked, not with him, anyway.

“You know what I’m talking about, and it has to stop.”

Derek tried to keep the frustration out of his voice. Spencer had only become more irritable and prone to anger, and the last thing either of them needed was a yelling match.

“I can’t, Derek. You know that.”

But he could. Spencer was so much stronger than he gave himself credit for, and he would make it through. Derek only wished Spencer would see that.

“I’m begging you, Pretty Boy, please stop. I can’t stay here, watching you kill yourself slowly. I love you, but I can’t keep watching it. You need to get help!”

“I can’t, Der. I can’t.”

That was all it took for Derek’s heart to break. There were tears on Spencer’s cheeks, and tears in Derek’s eyes. This couldn’t be it.

_ One more try. Once more. _

“I’ll be here with you, every step of the way,” he bargained. “If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your friends, for the team, for me. Please.”

The small, shaky nod that Derek got in return was all he could ever ask for.


End file.
